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This is 42. Lots of ambivalence about celebrating

This is 42. Lots of ambivalence about celebrating but absolutely none of that has to do with how I feel about ageing, my body, or myself. ⁣
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That's not to say that everything is rosy but I am no longer dreaming of a future where I have transformed/"fixed" myself in some way in the hopes that I will feel like I belong (or that it will make me deserving of the health care I'm currently being denied).⁣
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Instead I'm imagining a future where the whole damn ladder of body hierarchies (h/t Sonya Renee Taylor) has been dismantled and all bodies are included, affirmed and cherished.
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This year has asked me to step into, and embody, in a deeper way what my own practice of body liberation looks like - for my personal liberation as well as my contribution towards collective liberation (who am I in the "we" of collective liberation?).⁣
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A lot of that exploration has been taking place away from these squares but I hope to figure out a way to show up on here again soon.⁣
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In the meantime I am grateful for all the messiness and connection and grief and joy in the conversations I am having with my family, friends, clients, and peers (both IRL and online).⁣
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Thank you for holding me close and holding me accountable. 💕

It's "World Obe**ty Day" (or "Let's stigmatise fat

It's "World Obe**ty Day" (or "Let's stigmatise fat folks under the ruse of "helping" them Day") & I am thinking about stories.

When it comes to the lived experience of being fat, whose stories do we hear, & who are the storytellers?

Who is listened to & who is dismissed because their body size signals a lack of "expertise" in the very topic of their own experience?

In her wonderful TED Talk, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie talks about the danger of a single story.

She says: “The single story creates stereotypes, & the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.”

We live in a culture where there is a single story narrative about being fat.

What it says about our character, the choices we have made, our struggles, our happiness, our worth, our trauma, our relationships, our health, &...

And often this single story is internalised & carried around inside of us so that we feel trapped within the pages.

If you feel stuck in a story about your body, I want you to know that you're not alone. It makes sense. It's the water we swim in.

In Body Trust® we talk about exploring your Body Story as a way to reject the single story narrative offered up by the dominant culture. As a way to make sense of the truth of your lived experiences in your body & ask "is this my story, or someone else's?"

When we are able to see our experiences through a lens that isn't pathologising, dehumanising, medicalised, or oppressive, we muddy the waters & thicken our stories so that it's impossible for them to fit within the single narrative that culture projects onto us.

And from this place we can reconfigure the pieces & open up space for agency, empathy, compassion, & possibility.

"I am not the story you make of me. You are not the story they made of you. We are not the story they made of us. Take the stories back. Restory." - Lidia Yuknavitch

Our stories, told in our voices (not by "experts") matter.

I reject the single story that the media is telling me about my body (about our bodies) & instead I am reading different stories - by fat people about fat people...& dreaming of something more for us all.

I'm on the latest episode of @laurathomasphd "Don"

I'm on the latest episode of @laurathomasphd "Don"t Salt My Game" podcast talking about why a focus on Body Image isn't enough for a lot of us in fat or otherwise marginalised bodies, how rewriting our Body Stories can be a way to start reclaiming agency and control, and exploring ways in which we can start to enhance our experiences of embodiment, despite living a culture which makes this harder for some folks than others.

I also wrote an accompanying piece for her new book "How to Just Eat It" where I explore this through a fun exercise entitled "How to be more Cat" 😺. (Of course we are not Cats but it's a gentle, low pressure way to start to explore this concept!).

If you are struggling with body acceptance right now I hope this conversation feels supportive and affirming. Let me know in the comments if you give it a listen (link in my Bio)

Repost @laurathomasphd
• • • • • •
BODY COMPASSION⁣
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The 4th episode of the HTJEI takeover of DSMG is out now with the fantastic @nicolahaggett ⁣
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This is such a rich episode discussing all things embodiment; a practice that helps us feel grounded into and connected to our bodies. It’s not about ‘loving’ our bodies, but about caring for them in a really an attuned way, seeking out what feels good for our bodies and brings them pleasure and comfort.⁣
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In HTJEI Nikki uses cats as an example of critters that are the epitome of embodiment. Think about it, if a cat feels like you are violating their autonomy, they swipe or scurry away. If there’s a patch of warm sun on the floor or an empty warm lap, they are right there. You can’t imagine cats doing things that don’t move them closer to comfort, that’s basically their whole MO. How can we be more cat?⁣
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In this episode Nikki steps us through the five dimensions of embodiment:⁣
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Body connection and comfort⁣
Agency and functionality⁣
Experience and expression of desires⁣
Attuned self-care⁣
Inhabiting the body as a subjective site (resisting objectification)⁣
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She then gives us practical and tangible actions we can take to move towards each of these aspects of embodiment. ⁣
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Check out this episode wherever you get your podcast - search Don’t Salt My Game.⁣

Hello from me & Patrick as we start 2021 (& month

Hello from me & Patrick as we start 2021 (& month 9 of homeschooling 😬).
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How are you feeling about the New Year?

Do you enjoy the ritual of a "fresh start" or does it feel loaded & caught up in the energy of "fixing"?

I know a lot of folks appreciate the opportunity to "bid farewell" to 2020....but I also know that for many people things continue to be a struggle.

I also don't take for granted that I am here & surviving when so many aren't.

And, of course, there is the increased noise of Fatphobia in the form of Diet Culture ("it's a lifestyle change") at this time of year.

Added to the pressure to address COVID-related weight gain, I know that a lot of us in fat bodies are struggling.

It makes sense, then, if you find yourself reaching for some form of relief by making a plan to reduce stigma by shrinking your body.

I've been in that place more times than I can count so you won't find any judgement or shame from me. You get to choose what to do with your body. Always.

And, I want you to know that:

💛Anti-fat bias & body oppression often make it hard to care for your body - your suffering is not your fault
💛Your coping is rooted in wisdom
💛You are worthy at any size. There isn’t a different set of rules for you
💛You can increase your resilience (& resistance) against Fatphobia
💛It's possible to have a relationship with your body that is more flexible, compassionate, & connected
💛Reclaiming your right to feel good in how you nourish, move, & care for your body can be an act of resistance in a culture that tells us we need to “earn” the right
💛You get to spend your energy living a life that fills you up – your life’s purpose is not to shrink your body
💛Body Trust® is your birthright
💛By including yourself in the process towards body liberation, you contribute to the movement to create a fairer, more just world for all bodies

💜If you want some support with unlearning body shame & reclaiming your body as your home, you can book a free chat via the link in my Bio
💜Sliding scale pricing available

Image Description: [A photo of Nikki (a white, mid-fat cis woman with long brownish hair) & one of her kids. They are both smiling at the camera]

EDIT: While I think the information in these tiles

EDIT: While I think the information in these tiles is helpful, I have since reflected on the problematic nature of adding my perspective here as a white woman. In doing so, it further centres white voices in the context of a Black woman's right to do what she wants with her body. I will continue to share content & perspectives from Black creators in Stories & recommend you give those a read 💙

Image Description: [Tile 1: Practices for when your favourite fat celeb goes on a juice cleanse →→→

Tile 2: Locate yourself & widen the lens
⭐One of the Foundations of a Body Trust® Practice
⭐What you are feeling is valid
⭐Who you are in the context of your dominant & non-dominant identities also matters. Where do your identities appear to overlap & where do you have privilege? Where does this show up in this context?
⭐Hard on systems, soft on people - fat folks don't owe us anything. Who is benefiting from our shame? White Supremacy Culture, Capitalism, Patriarchy, Fatphobia, Healthism, Diet Culture..Blame those

Tile 3 Both/and - leave room for complexity
⭐Human beings are complex & hold many contradictions
⭐Practice naming where this shows up
⭐You are allowed to feel sad & disappointed, shame AND you can have empathy & compassion for the other person
⭐You can name that this person meant something to you as someone in the public arena who has done amazing things for fat bodies AND you can name that they don't owe you anything & everyone has a right to body autonomy

Tile 4: Look with kindness & curiosity
⭐Another Foundation of a Body Trust® Practice
⭐Practice speaking to yourself like you would a dear friend - what would you say?
⭐It's OK to admit that this hurts/sucks/makes it hard to hold body acceptance today
⭐It makes sense - you are not alone in this feeling
⭐What do you need in order to care for yourself in the kindest way possible?

Tile 5: We heal in community
⭐Seek out places & people who are supportive of what you are feeling & processing
⭐You are not alone
⭐Listen to, follow, support, & pay Black creators who have commented on this in nuanced & helpful ways (@stephanieyeboah, @tiffriahgrande, @encouragingdietitian are just a few that I've seen out of many)

Embody

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